The Confrontationalist With Danielle Gibson

EP14: Confronting Your Relationship with Food

“Binge eating was another one that I struggled with. You know, it’s more than just wanting to be skinny. It’s a relationship with food that becomes a way of speaking. It looks like that and it fronts like that, and that’s usually the impetus for the beginnings of it—some kind of social pressure, often parental pressure,” shares Stefanie Michele, a binge recovery and body image coach. In this episode, she opens up to Danielle Gibson about her 25-year journey through eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating. 
 
Together, they explore the powerful role societal and emotional pressures play in shaping disordered relationships with food, often linked to deeper feelings of control and safety. Stefanie emphasizes the healing power of somatic therapy in reconnecting with the body and addressing past trauma. Both women reflect on their personal recovery experiences, highlighting the importance of self-compassion and recognizing that healing isn’t always a straight path. This episode invites listeners to consider: How can we embrace our true selves while navigating the ups and downs of recovery?
 
Quotes
“Binge eating was another one that I struggled with. You know, it’s more than just wanting to be skinny. It’s a relationship with food that becomes a way of speaking. It looks like that and it fronts like that, and that’s usually the impetus for the beginnings of it—some kind of social pressure, often parental pressure.” (03:39 | Stefanie Michele)
“Self-compassion was not my first language, and I had a lot of discomfort thinking about being kind or gentle with my inner child. And that’s really sad. When you have to think back to what you needed and didn’t get, there’s a lot of grief in that, which is overwhelming. Again, it’s sometimes easier to stay in the baseball game because you’re dealing with decades of pent-up or unprocessed emotion and grief. To have to confront this at 40, 50, or 60 years old is asking a lot in an already overwhelming world. So, I think that’s why people potentially just don’t do it. Sometimes it feels safer to stay in the disorder than to open up Pandora’s box.” (14:06 | Stefanie Michele) 
“Part of what I talk about binge eating is that it is an attempt at times to self-advocate through a very misguided platform. Sometimes we have this fire, this sense of ‘I want, and I’m going to go get,’ and that can be part of the authentic self-response. It may have to do with why you became ‘The Confrontationalist.’ You couldn’t have necessarily ignored it your whole life, because there’s some drive questioning it or in pursuit of something else, even if it doesn’t know what that is.” (21:09 | Stefanie Michele)
“Connection is a lot about how a human being feels safe, that they’re held, that somebody cares about them, that somebody’s there, that somebody sees them.” (32:38 | Stefanie Michele)
 
**This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical, legal or financial advice.
 
Links:
Connect with Stefanie Michele:www.iamstefaniemichele.com 
IG account - iamstefaniemichele
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP13: Why Confronting Yourself is So Important

“I became committed to helping others shift out of those patterns because it all starts there. It all starts with how we think about ourselves. Once we can confront our own thought patterns and change them, everything can change,” says Nancy Burger, a communications strategist and founder of the Fear Finding Project. In this episode, she joins Danielle Gibson to explore the transformative power of self-confrontation in reshaping both personal and professional lives.
 
Nancy’s journey from a 35-year writing career to becoming a coach was ignited by her own battles with self-doubt. She reflects on how early life experiences and societal conditioning shape our beliefs, emphasizing the need to reframe these patterns for better self-awareness and emotional well-being.
 
In this episode of The Confrontationalist, Danielle and Nancy dive into the significance of language and self-talk in transforming our experiences. They remind us that true growth begins with the courage to face uncomfortable truths and reprogram our responses to align with our authentic selves. How often do we pause to consider the stories we tell ourselves—and their impact on our lives?
 
Please note that this episode may not be suitable for all listeners. Danielle shares her personal experience with ketamine, a treatment that should only be undertaken under professional supervision. Danielle isn’t offering advice or directives; she’s simply sharing her story for you to listen and reflect upon. What you choose to do with this information is entirely up to you.
 
Quotes
“I started doing a lot of research on human psychology and neuroscience to better understand why I did the things I did, especially why I felt the way I felt. With the help of a great support system of mental health care professionals, I began experimenting with strategies to change the way I thought and felt. And they worked. I became committed to helping others shift out of those patterns because it all starts there. It all starts with how we think about ourselves. Once we confront our own thought patterns and change them, everything can change.” (02:19 | Nancy Burger) 
“Sometimes we’ve got to peel the layers back a bit. It takes time, but we often normalize our discomfort and don’t really pay attention to it. We don’t do the meta work—we don’t notice our thoughts that much.” (09:48 | Nancy Burger)
“I think the awareness comes with leaning into the work. It’s kind of like a cycle, but you first have to acknowledge that something doesn’t feel right. Then, you have to be open to noticing what that is.” (11:41 | Nancy Burger)
“Stay in your lane and spend a lot of time being silent, listening, and noticing. That’s where much of communication happens. Successful communication involves speaking the least and last, learning, and then expressing your own experience without worrying about how your words will land on others. It all comes down to words—the words you choose are influenced by the words you’ve heard and the words you say to yourself.” (20:24 | Nancy Burger)
 
Links:
Connect with Nancy Burger:
www.nancyrburger.com
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP12: Negotiating the Salary You Deserve

“There still is a massive gender pay gap. I don’t need to say what the statistics are—they’re alarming. I feel like it’s my duty to help close that gap,” shares Keri-Lynne Shaw, the founder of The Salary Bump, a consultancy dedicated to helping individuals negotiate better compensation packages. In this episode, she joins Danielle Gibson and reveals that less than 50% of people negotiate their salaries, with the numbers even lower for women and people of color. 
 
She emphasizes the critical need for individuals to understand their worth and to confidently negotiate their compensation. The episode addresses psychological barriers to negotiating, such as fear of job loss, scarcity mindset, and a lack of knowledge about what to ask for. Keri-Lynne highlights the importance of preparation, including understanding market values and the full scope of compensation packages beyond just salary. She also stresses the significance of candidates interviewing potential employers to ensure a good fit, rather than viewing the process as one-sided.
 
Keri-Lynne’s coaching approach is holistic, focusing on salary negotiation and helping clients overcome limiting beliefs and build confidence. She provides practical advice, such as giving a salary range instead of a specific number and framing compensation discussions as collaborative rather than confrontational. Her ultimate goal is to empower individuals to advocate for themselves effectively, thereby closing the gender pay gap and fostering equitable workplaces.
 
Quotes
“There still is a massive gender pay gap. I don’t need to say what the statistics are—they’re alarming. I feel like it’s my duty to help close that gap.” (03:20 | Keri-Lynne Shaw)
“If most people aren’t asking at all, it’s often because they don’t know how to do the research on what their role is worth. We haven’t normalized these conversations.” (14:52 | Keri-Lynne Shaw)
“Never, ever give a specific dollar amount when discussing salary. Always provide a range. And if you’re asked about your current salary, always respond with your total compensation package, which includes your salary, bonus, equity, and any other benefits. Always present it as a broader figure within a range. This approach gives you the flexibility to steer the conversation in a different direction if needed.” (16:26 | Keri-Lynne Shaw)
“I feel like there’s also this element that, as a human, when you walk into an organization, you assume they’ll take care of you. You assume they have good benefits in place, that they’ll be reasonable and do right by their people. But that’s an assumption you can’t afford to make. I’m not saying not to be trustworthy, but the reality is, no one is going to care about you more than you do. No one else is in control of your career—if you let someone else take the wheel, good luck. It’s just too important. The conversation around your compensation package is too important to leave to chance.” (40:26 | Keri-Lynne Shaw) 
 
 
Links
Connect with Keri-Lynne Shaw:
www.thesalarybump.com
Instagram - @thesalarybump
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP11: Supporting Women in Business with Dr. C.

“I think some women don’t want to see others shine. Not everyone, but the more we can shine light on others and continue to build that, the more it gives permission for other people to do the same. That’s how I always view it,” says Dr. Caroline Iscovitz, also known as Dr. C. In this episode, she joins Danielle Gibson to discuss her ventures and the journey of women in business. 
 
Reflecting on challenges such as people-pleasing, imposter syndrome, and fear of success, Danielle and Dr. C underscore the importance of community and support systems. They address societal pressures that lead women to doubt their capabilities, advocating for a mindset shift to overcome these barriers. Through personal anecdotes and professional insights, they delve into deeper issues like scarcity mindset and self-judgment, highlighting the need for boundaries and transparent communication.
 
Join Danielle and Dr. C as they provide a roadmap for creating a more inclusive and empowering environment for female entrepreneurs, packed with practical advice and inspiration for navigating the entrepreneurial landscape.
 
Quotes
“I think some women don’t want to see others shine. Not everyone, but the more we can shine light on others and continue to build that, the more it gives permission for other people to do the same. That’s how I always view it.” (13:05 | Dr. Caroline Iscovitz)
“I think there are so many more women going into business for themselves now because they feel underappreciated at work. They’re not making as much as males and all the other issues we could probably have a whole podcast on. It’s part of understanding that we can ask for whatever we want. Will we get it? Probably not, but maybe. You will never know if you don’t ask or even just try.” (41:33 | Dr. Caroline Iscovitz) 
“I think some people are afraid to try because they’re content, they don’t want to rock the boat, or they don’t think they can ask for it or feel like they’re worthy of it. I believe everybody is worthy. If you put the energy and time into it, do the research, and do what you need to do to be successful, you can. But I think from a very young age, society has really stifled women in some capacities.” (41:57 | Dr. Caroline Iscovitz)
“I feel like a lot of people don’t speak up. That’s why many women, from what I’ve seen and those I’ve spoken to, leave corporate to start their own businesses. They weren’t being heard and didn’t feel valued or seen. Now, they can thrive in what they’re doing and creating because they can voice what’s important to them and how they can help people in whatever type of business they have.” (44:20 | Dr. Caroline Iscovitz)
 
Links
Connect with Dr. Caroline Iscovitz:
www.startherecon.com
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP10: Why Making a Decision Can Be Difficult

Do you fear making the wrong decision? In this episode, Danielle Gibson delves into the art of decision-making, using her own experiences with a major apartment renovation as a starting point to explore how we can all become more decisive and confident. She shares how she faced overwhelming choices—from selecting tiles to choosing wood for floors—and learned to trust her intuition. 
 
Danielle offers strategies to combat decision-making stress, encouraging listeners to avoid self-criticism and understand the root of their indecision. By reflecting on past successes, gathering all pertinent information, and managing emotions, we can make more confident choices.
 
Join Danielle as she transforms decision-making from a source of anxiety into an empowering process.
 
Quotes
“I was so scared that I was going to make the wrong decision and fear was my overriding emotion. So, what I didn’t know at the time was that I was making all of these quick decisions with the help of my intuition. After this experience and that realization, I spent some time getting much more in touch with my intuition so I could comfortably trust my decisions going forward. I worked on it for a while and it makes life a lot easier to trust yourself.” (02:18 | Danielle Gibson) 
“One of the most important lessons to learn is to never make a decision when you’re emotional.” (04:52 | Danielle Gibson)
“Sometimes we can’t make a decision because we don’t have all of the information. And that often comes with having to ask questions.” (06:49 | Danielle Gibson) 
 
Links
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP09: A Different Kind of Self Care

Self-care goes beyond simple pleasures like lighting a candle or taking a bath. In this episode, Danielle Gibson discusses an interaction with a potential coaching client who was struggling with job interviews, particularly in addressing an employment gap she believed was affecting her job prospects. Danielle delves into the possibility that the issue may not lie with the gap itself, but with the client’s self-perception and lack of assertiveness, which could be undermining her interview performance.
 
Danielle examines how self-worth influences our choices, especially in terms of personal investment. She argues that genuine self-care involves long-term commitments to personal growth and tackling internal challenges, not just quick fixes. The episode underscores the significance of investing in oneself to enhance life quality, pointing out that hesitancy to spend on personal development may reflect a deeper undervaluation of one’s worth.
 
Danielle encourages listeners to rethink their views on self-care and understand that working on oneself is an essential part of it. She invites her audience to contact her or other coaches to start or advance their personal development journeys, emphasizing that this is a vital step toward a more satisfying life.
 
Quotes
“The fact that they are trading their potential quality of life, better quality of life for a number in their checking account or savings account is sad because what that really means is they don’t think they’re worth it. And I don’t think people think of it this way, but I do. And you know, it made me think about the notion of self-care.” (07:22 | Danielle Gibson)
“You read about self-care in articles and you read about how people burn candles and they’ll take a bath or they’ll go away for a day or two to a spa, all of which are great. And if they help you, that’s great, but it’s only a temporary fix. And if you think about it, why do you need that kind of self-care? What's going on before that happens that you need that? Obviously, we all need a break, but I define self-care as the work that I do. I do it on myself.” (07:53 | Danielle Gibson) 
“I am always working with a coach. I worked with a therapist. I just went through almost two and a half months of physical therapy that wasn't cheap, but I wanted to feel better because I was in pain. And I think of that as self-care because it's long-term help. And I really want to feel better. I really wish that people thought of taking care of themselves this way was as important as taking care of your health.” (08:24  | Danielle Gibson)
 
Links:
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP08: If You Struggle With Sales

Danielle Gibson redefines the art of selling by turning the traditional sales approach on its head. Drawing from a conversation with a colleague about the common hurdles faced by those in sales roles, Danielle dives into a story of a former client from a startup who found herself crippled by the fear and pressure of meeting sales targets.
 
Steering the narrative away from the conventional transaction-focused tactics, Davielle advocates instead for a conversational approach that prioritizes understanding and addressing a client’s needs. This shift is not merely strategic but deeply empathetic, fostering genuine connections that not only lead to better sales outcomes but also enrich the salesperson's experience.
 
Danielle worked with her client to let go of the outcome— a change that significantly reduced her anxiety and allowed her to be more present and authentic during interactions. This new mindset led to remarkable improvements in her client's confidence, client relationships, and sales performance, significantly improving her personal fulfillment.
 
Sales should be seen as a conversational exchange rather than a transactional encounter. Danielle advises listeners to handle rejections and objections as normal parts of the process. Understanding that rejections are not personal but rather part of the business dynamics can transform how sales professionals perceive and handle their roles.
 
Quotes
“When you're not present, you can't be authentic. Authenticity is a huge part of creating connection, which makes the conversation better and it makes you more likable and memorable and adds to the potential sale.” (03:21 | Danielle Gibson)
“It is a conversation. It's not a sales meeting. Obviously you're meeting to talk about what you're selling, but if you can come from a place of curiosity, as you would with any new person that you're meeting with, then you're just going to be having a normal conversation that at some point you're going to start talking about the reason that you're there. You're going to talk about what you're selling. They're going to talk about what they need. And you're going to find out because you're curious if what you're selling is good for them. Now that may not happen in the first conversation, but it'll be the first conversation of many.” (05:34 | Danielle Gibson) 
 
Links
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP07: Why is Interviewing So Hard?

Ever felt like you lost a piece of your confidence at a job interview? Danielle Gibson breaks down job interviews and the often accompanying fear of facing someone head-on. This reflection stems from a recent conversation she had, exploring the challenge faced by individuals skilled at securing interviews yet struggling with effectively presenting themselves.
 
Danielle argues against traditional interview preparations, advocating for authenticity over rehearsed answers. She addresses the discomfort many people, especially women, have with discussing their achievements, urging a shift from bragging to sharing.
 
Drawing on her experience in the cosmetics and music industries, Danielle highlights how our job aspirations can clash with reality. She explains that desperation for a new job or financial pressures can distort our view of interviews, making them feel like emotional battles instead of opportunities for genuine conversation.
 
Danielle advises seeing interviews as mutual explorations rather than mere one-sided evaluations. She stresses researching not just to impress, but to find if the job aligns with your values and goals. This mindset aims to ease interview pressure by fostering detachment from the outcome. Danielle urges listeners to reevaluate their perspectives on confrontation and communication at interviews,advocating for a more relaxed and objective stance towards achieving career goals.
 
Quotes
"You're not bragging, you're telling. You're sharing information and it's just that. An interview is a fact-finding conversation." (02:34 | Danielle Gibson) 
"A job is not your answer. It's not an answer to all your problems. It's a job. The things that we do with regard to interviewing are things that we do in life with other things." (03:42 | Danielle Gibson)
"It's just a conversation. You're going in, you're getting some facts, you're meeting somebody. You want to know if you like that person, you want to know about the culture. You want to know if it's a place you want to work. It's not about, ‘I hope I get this thing. I hope this person who's dangling this most important thing in front of me gives me this most important thing,’ because then you're just at the effect of this person. You're terrified of not getting this job that you have no idea if you're going to even like. So it's important to approach an interview like it's just a conversation." (09:41 | Danielle Gibson)
"If you've taken the time to do some research, that shows them that you are actually interested in them and they're more likely going to like you and consider you for that job. It's important that you don't make this job, your dream job" (12:22 | Danielle Gibson)
"You didn't lose the job because you never had the job. And you have no idea whether or not it was your dream job because you were never in the job. So really, what you lost was the idea of a dream job. Please just know that this is an entire world that's just taking place in your head. Let go if you can let go of an attachment to a job. It's not saving your life. It may be giving you money, obviously that's important, but you really want to make sure that you're choosing something that suits you because you're going to be there ideally for quite some time." (13:10 | Danielle Gibson) 
 
Links:
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP06: What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do

"Sometimes, the thing you think you need to do is nothing," says Danielle Gibson, sharing invaluable insights for those struggling with confrontation and direct communication. She reflects on her early sales career, navigating the high-pressure environment of a trend forecasting firm led by a CEO quick to fire.
 
With a visit from the CEO approaching and receiving advice from colleagues to make a preemptive plea for her job, Danielle shares her moral and strategic dilemma and the unexpected lesson she learned on the virtues of patience, intuition, and seeking guidance.
 
This episode offers three pieces of advice for situations where they're unsure of what to do:
Wait: Sometimes the best action is to do nothing and see how the situation unfolds.
Trust Your Intuition: Learn to differentiate between a thought and an intuitive feeling. Trusting your intuition is essentially trusting yourself.
Ask for Help: If you're struggling with a decision, seek advice from someone you trust or consider hiring a professional to help you navigate the decision-making process.
 
Quotes
"When you worry about something, there is a feeling of discomfort and anxiety that comes with that. And obviously we don't want to feel that way. So we think we should do something to get ourselves out of that state. Except that's not always true. Sometimes the choice is to do nothing." (07:53) 
"I made the choice to not do anything. I made the choice to wait and see what happened. And I had to kind of give in to that panic and go, yeah, I just don't know what's going to happen. I could get fired. There's nothing I can do about it. And I think that it's important for you if you ever go through something or you will go through something like this to kind of pay attention to what feels right or doesn't feel right, which is what I did. Choosing to do nothing is actually making a choice. Doing nothing is choosing an inaction." (08:40 | Danielle Gibson)
"If you do have a relationship with your intuition, you should pay attention to your intuition. And if you think you don't know when you're experiencing your intuition or your higher self or whatever you want to call it, you have to learn how to trust it because inevitably what this means is that you're trusting yourself. And I think that self-trust is one of the most essential skills we could have, because if we know that we're doing something that feels right to us, we're never in a state of inner conflict." (10:48 | Danielle Gibson) 
"Think of a time when you were able to make a decision about something that was hard and think about what you did in that experience that helped you get to the other side of that decision. If you've done it before, you probably can do it again by yourself." (13:56 | Danielle Gibson)
 
Links
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP05: Are You Scared of Public Speaking?

The fear of public speaking is the number one fear people have. Second is the fear of death. In this episode of The Confrontationalist, Danielle Gibson tackles the daunting challenge of public speaking. Danielle dives deep into the roots of this fear, from childhood experiences to societal pressures. She unveils the hidden impact of shame, trauma, and perfectionism on our ability to speak in public. Listeners will discover the insidious nature of self-criticism and the constant loop of fear that plagues many individuals. Through personal anecdotes and expert insights, Danielle sheds light on the physical and emotional toll of performance anxiety. She offers practical strategies, from deep breathing exercises to self-awareness techniques, to help conquer this fear.
 
Quotes:
“Clients have told me that they experienced things like a racing heart, sweating, clammy hands, tight jaw. These types of physiological reactions indicate that they're responding as if their life is at stake. That's a big deal. It takes a huge toll on your body. And something that many people don't realize is that the fear doesn't only exist during the presentation. There is a before, during, and after.” (20:18 | Danielle Gibson) 
“Overcoming your fear of public speaking often involves building confidence, desensitizing yourself to the fear through repeated exposure, and learning to manage the physical symptoms of anxiety. Professional help, like working with a coach or a therapist, can also be beneficial if nothing you've tried is working well enough.” (25:31 | Danielle Gibson) 
“There are two things that people say to me often that I'm always surprised about because they say it as if it's a good thing, meaning good for them. And one of them is that they're a perfectionist and the other one is that they're a people pleaser. And now neither of them are good for you. They are coping mechanisms that you learn. And perfection is subjective anyway, but perfectionism can lead to chronic pain and shame because you set impossibly high standards for yourself and then you feel shame when they fall short. And they will fall short.”
 
Links:
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm