The Confrontationalist With Danielle Gibson

EP09: A Different Kind of Self Care

Self-care goes beyond simple pleasures like lighting a candle or taking a bath. In this episode, Danielle Gibson discusses an interaction with a potential coaching client who was struggling with job interviews, particularly in addressing an employment gap she believed was affecting her job prospects. Danielle delves into the possibility that the issue may not lie with the gap itself, but with the client’s self-perception and lack of assertiveness, which could be undermining her interview performance.
 
Danielle examines how self-worth influences our choices, especially in terms of personal investment. She argues that genuine self-care involves long-term commitments to personal growth and tackling internal challenges, not just quick fixes. The episode underscores the significance of investing in oneself to enhance life quality, pointing out that hesitancy to spend on personal development may reflect a deeper undervaluation of one’s worth.
 
Danielle encourages listeners to rethink their views on self-care and understand that working on oneself is an essential part of it. She invites her audience to contact her or other coaches to start or advance their personal development journeys, emphasizing that this is a vital step toward a more satisfying life.
 
Quotes
“The fact that they are trading their potential quality of life, better quality of life for a number in their checking account or savings account is sad because what that really means is they don’t think they’re worth it. And I don’t think people think of it this way, but I do. And you know, it made me think about the notion of self-care.” (07:22 | Danielle Gibson)
“You read about self-care in articles and you read about how people burn candles and they’ll take a bath or they’ll go away for a day or two to a spa, all of which are great. And if they help you, that’s great, but it’s only a temporary fix. And if you think about it, why do you need that kind of self-care? What's going on before that happens that you need that? Obviously, we all need a break, but I define self-care as the work that I do. I do it on myself.” (07:53 | Danielle Gibson) 
“I am always working with a coach. I worked with a therapist. I just went through almost two and a half months of physical therapy that wasn't cheap, but I wanted to feel better because I was in pain. And I think of that as self-care because it's long-term help. And I really want to feel better. I really wish that people thought of taking care of themselves this way was as important as taking care of your health.” (08:24  | Danielle Gibson)
 
Links:
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP08: If You Struggle With Sales

Danielle Gibson redefines the art of selling by turning the traditional sales approach on its head. Drawing from a conversation with a colleague about the common hurdles faced by those in sales roles, Danielle dives into a story of a former client from a startup who found herself crippled by the fear and pressure of meeting sales targets.
 
Steering the narrative away from the conventional transaction-focused tactics, Davielle advocates instead for a conversational approach that prioritizes understanding and addressing a client’s needs. This shift is not merely strategic but deeply empathetic, fostering genuine connections that not only lead to better sales outcomes but also enrich the salesperson's experience.
 
Danielle worked with her client to let go of the outcome— a change that significantly reduced her anxiety and allowed her to be more present and authentic during interactions. This new mindset led to remarkable improvements in her client's confidence, client relationships, and sales performance, significantly improving her personal fulfillment.
 
Sales should be seen as a conversational exchange rather than a transactional encounter. Danielle advises listeners to handle rejections and objections as normal parts of the process. Understanding that rejections are not personal but rather part of the business dynamics can transform how sales professionals perceive and handle their roles.
 
Quotes
“When you're not present, you can't be authentic. Authenticity is a huge part of creating connection, which makes the conversation better and it makes you more likable and memorable and adds to the potential sale.” (03:21 | Danielle Gibson)
“It is a conversation. It's not a sales meeting. Obviously you're meeting to talk about what you're selling, but if you can come from a place of curiosity, as you would with any new person that you're meeting with, then you're just going to be having a normal conversation that at some point you're going to start talking about the reason that you're there. You're going to talk about what you're selling. They're going to talk about what they need. And you're going to find out because you're curious if what you're selling is good for them. Now that may not happen in the first conversation, but it'll be the first conversation of many.” (05:34 | Danielle Gibson) 
 
Links
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP07: Why is Interviewing So Hard?

Ever felt like you lost a piece of your confidence at a job interview? Danielle Gibson breaks down job interviews and the often accompanying fear of facing someone head-on. This reflection stems from a recent conversation she had, exploring the challenge faced by individuals skilled at securing interviews yet struggling with effectively presenting themselves.
 
Danielle argues against traditional interview preparations, advocating for authenticity over rehearsed answers. She addresses the discomfort many people, especially women, have with discussing their achievements, urging a shift from bragging to sharing.
 
Drawing on her experience in the cosmetics and music industries, Danielle highlights how our job aspirations can clash with reality. She explains that desperation for a new job or financial pressures can distort our view of interviews, making them feel like emotional battles instead of opportunities for genuine conversation.
 
Danielle advises seeing interviews as mutual explorations rather than mere one-sided evaluations. She stresses researching not just to impress, but to find if the job aligns with your values and goals. This mindset aims to ease interview pressure by fostering detachment from the outcome. Danielle urges listeners to reevaluate their perspectives on confrontation and communication at interviews,advocating for a more relaxed and objective stance towards achieving career goals.
 
Quotes
"You're not bragging, you're telling. You're sharing information and it's just that. An interview is a fact-finding conversation." (02:34 | Danielle Gibson) 
"A job is not your answer. It's not an answer to all your problems. It's a job. The things that we do with regard to interviewing are things that we do in life with other things." (03:42 | Danielle Gibson)
"It's just a conversation. You're going in, you're getting some facts, you're meeting somebody. You want to know if you like that person, you want to know about the culture. You want to know if it's a place you want to work. It's not about, ‘I hope I get this thing. I hope this person who's dangling this most important thing in front of me gives me this most important thing,’ because then you're just at the effect of this person. You're terrified of not getting this job that you have no idea if you're going to even like. So it's important to approach an interview like it's just a conversation." (09:41 | Danielle Gibson)
"If you've taken the time to do some research, that shows them that you are actually interested in them and they're more likely going to like you and consider you for that job. It's important that you don't make this job, your dream job" (12:22 | Danielle Gibson)
"You didn't lose the job because you never had the job. And you have no idea whether or not it was your dream job because you were never in the job. So really, what you lost was the idea of a dream job. Please just know that this is an entire world that's just taking place in your head. Let go if you can let go of an attachment to a job. It's not saving your life. It may be giving you money, obviously that's important, but you really want to make sure that you're choosing something that suits you because you're going to be there ideally for quite some time." (13:10 | Danielle Gibson) 
 
Links:
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP06: What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do

"Sometimes, the thing you think you need to do is nothing," says Danielle Gibson, sharing invaluable insights for those struggling with confrontation and direct communication. She reflects on her early sales career, navigating the high-pressure environment of a trend forecasting firm led by a CEO quick to fire.
 
With a visit from the CEO approaching and receiving advice from colleagues to make a preemptive plea for her job, Danielle shares her moral and strategic dilemma and the unexpected lesson she learned on the virtues of patience, intuition, and seeking guidance.
 
This episode offers three pieces of advice for situations where they're unsure of what to do:
Wait: Sometimes the best action is to do nothing and see how the situation unfolds.
Trust Your Intuition: Learn to differentiate between a thought and an intuitive feeling. Trusting your intuition is essentially trusting yourself.
Ask for Help: If you're struggling with a decision, seek advice from someone you trust or consider hiring a professional to help you navigate the decision-making process.
 
Quotes
"When you worry about something, there is a feeling of discomfort and anxiety that comes with that. And obviously we don't want to feel that way. So we think we should do something to get ourselves out of that state. Except that's not always true. Sometimes the choice is to do nothing." (07:53) 
"I made the choice to not do anything. I made the choice to wait and see what happened. And I had to kind of give in to that panic and go, yeah, I just don't know what's going to happen. I could get fired. There's nothing I can do about it. And I think that it's important for you if you ever go through something or you will go through something like this to kind of pay attention to what feels right or doesn't feel right, which is what I did. Choosing to do nothing is actually making a choice. Doing nothing is choosing an inaction." (08:40 | Danielle Gibson)
"If you do have a relationship with your intuition, you should pay attention to your intuition. And if you think you don't know when you're experiencing your intuition or your higher self or whatever you want to call it, you have to learn how to trust it because inevitably what this means is that you're trusting yourself. And I think that self-trust is one of the most essential skills we could have, because if we know that we're doing something that feels right to us, we're never in a state of inner conflict." (10:48 | Danielle Gibson) 
"Think of a time when you were able to make a decision about something that was hard and think about what you did in that experience that helped you get to the other side of that decision. If you've done it before, you probably can do it again by yourself." (13:56 | Danielle Gibson)
 
Links
 
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP05: Are You Scared of Public Speaking?

The fear of public speaking is the number one fear people have. Second is the fear of death. In this episode of The Confrontationalist, Danielle Gibson tackles the daunting challenge of public speaking. Danielle dives deep into the roots of this fear, from childhood experiences to societal pressures. She unveils the hidden impact of shame, trauma, and perfectionism on our ability to speak in public. Listeners will discover the insidious nature of self-criticism and the constant loop of fear that plagues many individuals. Through personal anecdotes and expert insights, Danielle sheds light on the physical and emotional toll of performance anxiety. She offers practical strategies, from deep breathing exercises to self-awareness techniques, to help conquer this fear.
 
Quotes:
“Clients have told me that they experienced things like a racing heart, sweating, clammy hands, tight jaw. These types of physiological reactions indicate that they're responding as if their life is at stake. That's a big deal. It takes a huge toll on your body. And something that many people don't realize is that the fear doesn't only exist during the presentation. There is a before, during, and after.” (20:18 | Danielle Gibson) 
“Overcoming your fear of public speaking often involves building confidence, desensitizing yourself to the fear through repeated exposure, and learning to manage the physical symptoms of anxiety. Professional help, like working with a coach or a therapist, can also be beneficial if nothing you've tried is working well enough.” (25:31 | Danielle Gibson) 
“There are two things that people say to me often that I'm always surprised about because they say it as if it's a good thing, meaning good for them. And one of them is that they're a perfectionist and the other one is that they're a people pleaser. And now neither of them are good for you. They are coping mechanisms that you learn. And perfection is subjective anyway, but perfectionism can lead to chronic pain and shame because you set impossibly high standards for yourself and then you feel shame when they fall short. And they will fall short.”
 
Links:
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP04: Online Road Rage

Ever wonder why the comments section on social media can turn into a battleground? In this episode of The Confrontationalist podcast, Danielle Gibson takes a deep dive into the world of online aggression and compares it to road rage. It's an eye-opener into why we sometimes lose our cool behind a screen or a steering wheel.
 
Danielle kicks things off with road rage, talking about how stress, anxiety, and other emotional triggers can lead to some pretty heated moments on the road. She hits us with some startling stats, like how 92% of people have seen road rage in action in the past year. Then, she shifts gears to online spaces, where arguments in the comments section are all too common. It turns out, the anonymity of the internet can make people bolder and less polite than they'd be in person.
 
The episode isn't just about pointing fingers; it's about understanding what's going on beneath the surface. Danielle explores why people get drawn into online arguments, whether it's for attention, validation, or just because they're part of a group that thinks the same way. She also sheds light on why some people, who might avoid confrontation in real life, find it easier to be aggressive online – it's all about feeling unseen or unheard.
 
Danielle wraps things up by stressing the importance of self-awareness. She encourages us to think about our reactions in aggressive situations, both on the road and online, and to choose to respond thoughtfully instead of just reacting. It's about recognizing the impact of our actions and words.
 
This episode is a must-listen for anyone who's ever felt their blood boil while scrolling through comments or driving in traffic. Danielle's insights help us understand the reasons behind online hostility and offer strategies to handle our emotions better, both online and off. Tune in to this episode of The Confrontationalist for a fresh perspective on managing aggression in our digital age.
 
Quotes:
"Online anonymity emboldens people to express themselves more aggressively than they would in face-to-face situations. There is a sense of safety online, and it can make them feel less accountable for what they write." - Danielle Gibson (4:42) 
"Some people are looking for attention and validation, and engaging in arguments can be a way to get these things. It can also be a way to get likes and shares, which can make them feel important." - Danielle Gibson (5:34)
"There are a lot of online communities in which people share interests or ideologies, which can give members a strong sense of belonging and loyalty, and that can lead to groupthink." - Danielle Gibson (9:00) 
“If we have enough of an awareness, we can have the ability to choose how we want to respond versus what we do when we have a strong immediate knee-jerk reaction. The goal is to always respond because responding gives you the space to think about what you want to do or say versus reacting, which is an emotional and immediate response.” - Danielle Gibson (15:12) 
 
 
Links:
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP03: Why Confrontation?

Have you ever backed down from a tough talk, worried about what might happen? This episode of "The Confrontationalist" with Danielle Gibson dives into why facing these tough moments is crucial. Danielle shares her journey and the lessons from her clients, many of whom are women who've struggled with the fear of confrontation. She talks about how this fear often pops up in daily life - like in hard conversations, when setting boundaries, or even just asking for what you want.
 
Danielle breaks down confrontation in a way that's easy to understand. It's not about being aggressive; it's about facing things head-on, even if they scare us. She explains the difference between healthy confrontation, which is all about respect and understanding, and aggressive confrontation, which is more about attacking than solving problems.
 
One of the big takeaways from this episode is how healthy confrontation can actually make things better. It's about getting things off your chest in a good way and stopping little problems from turning into big ones. Danielle also tackles the reasons many of us shy away from confrontations, like worrying too much about what others think or being scared of looking foolish.
 
This episode is perfect for anyone who finds confrontation tough or wants to get better at handling tricky conversations. Danielle's insights are relatable and practical, making the idea of confrontation a bit less daunting. Tune into this episode of "The Confrontationalist" for a fresh take on how facing our fears can lead to better communication and personal growth.
 
Quotes:
"Healthy confrontation is respectful with a considerate approach. You acknowledge the other person's feelings and perspectives while expressing your own." - Danielle Gibson (6:22)
“Healthy confrontation is more likely to preserve and improve relationships because it's based on respect and a desire to resolve conflicts.” - Danielle Gibson  (7:02) 
"Aggressive confrontation is what most people think confrontation is. It's characterized by disrespectful and hostile behavior." - Danielle Gibson (7:57)
"Healthy confrontation has so many benefits in personal, professional, and interpersonal situations. It can lead to positive outcomes and improvements in so many aspects of your life." - Danielle Gibson (8:47) 
"When you confront something, you can release pent-up emotions, which will reduce emotional strain." - Danielle Gibson (11:34)
"Overcoming your fear of confrontation starts with awareness." - Danielle Gibson (16:00)
 
Links:
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP02: Should You Say Something Or Not?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where speaking up seemed almost impossible? In this episode of The Confrontationalist, our host, Danielle Gibson, a seasoned communication expert, delves into the complex art of knowing when to speak up and when to remain silent. Her insights, grounded in extensive experience, explore scenarios where silence can be golden, such as when lacking knowledge on a topic or when emotions run high. Gibson stresses the importance of listening, respecting boundaries, and avoiding harmful or offensive speech. However, the flip side is equally important: she discusses when it is crucial to speak up for collaboration, personal expression, and relationship maintenance.
 
Gibson offers practical advice for initiating difficult conversations, providing feedback, advocating for oneself, and using communication for personal growth. She emphasizes the importance of context in deciding whether to speak up or stay silent, and provides strategies for assessing the right approach in various situations. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own experiences with speaking up and staying silent, understanding their feelings and fears in these situations. This episode is particularly relevant for anyone struggling with confrontation or who finds themselves frequently unsure in communicative scenarios.
 
Join us in this insightful episode as Danielle Gibson empowers you with the tools to navigate tough conversations with confidence. Whether you're someone who struggles with speaking up or someone who speaks before thinking, this episode has valuable lessons for everyone. 
 
Quotes:
"In emotionally charged situations, saying something impulsively can escalate conflicts or be hurtful." - Danielle Gibson (02:26)  
"Open and effective communication is essential because sharing your thoughts, ideas, and concerns can contribute to better teamwork and problem solving." - Danielle Gibson (06:07)
"It's important to express your feelings and needs and your emotions to maintain healthy and open communication." - Danielle Gibson (06:32)
"A lack of communication in any relationship can lead to the breakdown of that relationship." - Danielle Gibson (07:02)
"Constructive feedback can help individuals and organizations improve." - Danielle Gibson (09:14)
"Sharing your thoughts, ideas, and opinions with other people will lead to personal growth, and it will expand your world." - Danielle Gibson (10:07) 
 
Links:
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

EP01: The Power of No

Why is saying no important for personal growth and well-being? Danielle Gibson, our host, begins by highlighting the difficulty many people, especially women, face when it comes to saying no. She explores the reasons behind this discomfort, including fear of disapproval, desire for acceptance, gender stereotypes, and lack of role models.
 
Gibson emphasizes the negative impact of constantly saying yes when you actually want to say no. By saying yes, individuals often misrepresent their true intentions and feelings, leading to a lack of open communication and potential disappointment. She also notes that saying yes when you want to say no can be seen as a form of lying and can compromise your authenticity and integrity.
 
On the other hand, Gibson explains the benefits of saying no and being authentic. Saying no allows individuals to communicate their true feelings and set boundaries, leading to increased self-acceptance, self-awareness, and overall well-being. Being authentic also fosters stronger relationships and enhances leadership skills.
 
To help listeners navigate the challenge of saying no, Gibson offers a few strategies. She suggests using short and simple responses, such as "Thank you for the invitation, but unfortunately, I can't make it," without feeling the need to justify or explain further. She also encourages individuals to recognize that it is okay if they are not ready to work on saying no and to be kind to themselves in the process.
 
Gibson concludes the episode by sharing a story about a previous client who struggled with saying no in various situations. Through coaching, the client was able to gain confidence and learn to say no without guilt or fear.
 
Overall, this episode highlights the importance of saying no, the challenges individuals face in doing so, and the positive impact it can have on personal growth and relationships. It provides practical strategies for saying no and encourages listeners to embrace authenticity and self-acceptance.Quotes:
"I think that there are two essential skills that fall under the confrontation umbrella that are necessary to prevent burnout. The first one is boundary setting. And the second one is the ability to say no." - Danielle Gibson (01:47) 
"The desire for acceptance and fitting in with social groups can often drive people to say yes when they'd rather say no." - Danielle Gibson (03:25)
"Being authentic comes with a lot of benefits that will positively impact your mental, emotional, and social well-being." - Danielle Gibson (07:10)
"Authenticity fosters deeper and more meaningful connections with others. When you're genuine, people are more likely to trust and relate to you on a personal level." - Danielle Gibson (07:45) 
 
Links:
For more resources and information about Confrontation, check out www.theconfrontationalist.com.
 
Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Danielle here: https://www.theconfrontationalist.com/contact
 
Follow us here:
IG @the_confrontationalist
LinkedIn @danielle-gibson-5243692/
 
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm